turning a new leaf?

okay.....my prelim one chinese...156(without listining)...yea i know is...high..but.i still wish to get higher. and of couse i`m studying towards it...i really was frustrated during the last few days..and well i damage my own lungs...well it hurts...if i have a phrase i can describe the state i`m in...i would be....>i`m so tired<..lols...is hard to vent my anger...it`s really painful..and now....today...i think my heart shattered into a million of tiny red blobby things....yao yang...wdH....i knew he was immature but talking to christine and playing a fool of himself at class? i cant believe what he said to elf..."hey dont do homework la...later than do come and play catching".i really wanted to help him i tried...argh and i`m blamming myself for his studies?.i`m not trying to boast here but seriously....ARGH....