5 years have gone by. And i`m back. x)

It went by way too fast. I`d learned so much these past few years. Met a ton of people, and gained a huge sum of experience. It wasnt enjoyable to say to least, but it was necessary for me to grow much stronger as an individual and as a person. I`d made a ton of mistakes that stirred up alot of emotions along the way. Friends came by and go, which made me realised thats actually no point in having one anymore. Everything that i wanted achieve across these five years was deemed as a failure one way or another. My grammer is actually so bad, please bare with me. The countless times i wanted to suicide was real. Probably over 50 times, especially during the dota period. Family actually means nothing to me now, and i`m only living because i have to. I use school and academics as an alternate way out from pain, but i still cry from time to time alone on my bed. I have no idea why i`m writing this despite knowing it`ll further fuck me up, but whatever. Didnt have the motivation to go into details, but its sad that i cant express myself well at all. I`m still hoping that one day, i can experience that boring office job that i`d been dreaming of since 16 years old. Where i have the same routine everyday and not think about anything else. I would no longer have to feel any pain, as i await my life to come to an end. LOL, i feel sorry for my body actually. : (. Oh shit, this post is more towards the disgusting side. I guess thats all for today uh and maybe i`ll come back 5 years later. xD

prelim results 2~!

maths 94....MATHS 94 yea@@@!!!!! paper 2 full marks.. rofl....okay so i`m the highest in class...for maths...ha i beat elf by 3 marks...i told u i`ll get revenge....:p...and chinese 80.5...the o.5 comes from teacher`s carelessness....lol.although siyin got...86.5..psle...i gona beat her...just mark my words....:DDDDDDD and english 58.5? wdHHHHHHHHHHH i gottten the same marks as elf and christine...hey that sux.....but..heh...both of them wont be so lucky next week....destiny..stop playing with me.please....i hate this la..WHY did i get so high..so u want me lie on the floor again?? my destiny is..a funny thing..now..i guess is the crosspath...of my life...the choice that i chose now,the determination i have now...would severely affect my future...so i ask my myself this question....what will i do.

i told u so..

rage....within me..u should be able to guess wut happen...58.5? for english? what shyt la!!!! editing 2 marks...and javier? 69....i really hate myself...i knew this would happen.....argh thats it .....i going to studying like a mad dog le...i had enough@@! i tell u i had enough1! i`ll ace psle!! u just watcH!

my true inerself....

whoa....i didnt have any idea that i was hiding all my emotions away...it started at class..when mdm ng was angry at us cuz...of elf,birddy and some other dudes who did not went home after school..rofl...well and mr super hero came in..who is me...i moved to the front and well...tried to make her happy...cuz i`m good at that lol.! and it work.!!!! at the science period welli made her luagh a few times....but i didnt know the feelings that i express were the ones that i had lost months ago....i have been hiding them so long..cool...lol...well but at sup,because i lost control of myself and started chattering continuously...she scolded me! what de...she said she should`nt have praised me...at the same time...mr eddie was also scolded too...cuz of the same reason...but he didnt did it cuz of something good! i`m not trying to boast right....and today i had my listening comprehension...psle...rain was with me..thanks~..both should get full marks.....and i realised something today...my pride had cuz me to become a stupid stupid guy.....arghhhh...i really hate myself...i lose to javier cuz of that tooo.!!!! thats it la!!! my fury come back le u all die le! mark my words~~~ ;D

turning a new leaf?

okay.....my prelim one chinese...156(without listining)...yea i know is...high..but.i still wish to get higher. and of couse i`m studying towards it...i really was frustrated during the last few days..and well i damage my own lungs...well it hurts...if i have a phrase i can describe the state i`m in...i would be....>i`m so tired<..lols...is hard to vent my anger...it`s really painful..and now....today...i think my heart shattered into a million of tiny red blobby things....yao yang...wdH....i knew he was immature but talking to christine and playing a fool of himself at class? i cant believe what he said to elf..."hey dont do homework la...later than do come and play catching".i really wanted to help him i tried...argh and i`m blamming myself for his studies?.i`m not trying to boast here but seriously....ARGH....

Dad`s BirThdAy~~!!!!

hey dad.!!!! happy birthday!!>..lol i even bought for him a 24.50 with popular discount pen...OMFG....24.50@@@22lol....now going to eat cakey le...:D both jie and i decorate it ourslves! at the icing room...it was damn fun...lols cuz when we decorate finish le go find mum and paid for the groccery...after realising that the it was already 7 we took a damn super super fast taxi home...ouch...it was so fast that i had lie my head on the sofa...xD.....this was the first year i bought him something so ex...hopefully he would like it >.<...afterall he bought me a parker pencil and black pen on my birthday...it is only right i do likewise...and we had steamboat for dinnerrrrrrrrrrrrrr ;DDDDDDD

prelim 1 result~

engilsh 61.5....i think i`m the highest so far....;DDDDDD..lol.for just the paper...no one got 60 above except me..i think...agn ;p...LOL..okay this is damn strange when i got the paper i feel damn super miserable i dono why...haiz...i think cuz i didnt manage to finish scinece...i still feel damn super super upset;;;AHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHY HAVENTI FINISH THE PAPER...>@>@@##$%%^$$#@....llol maths 82....i win all the pros...except elf and siyin...that just ricks...lol elf win me by 2 marks siyin win me by 5 mark..hopefully when teacher go through the paper...i get can some extra marks xDDDDD...